Attraction: A Necessary Evil

Alright... Not all of the time but definitely recently. Plus side to this current situation is that I am noticing other people again (and flirting too). Down side, though, is that I can't act on it, hence the evil connotation. Attraction is fun. Attraction is exciting. But, let me tell you, it's a lot more fun when you're allowed to act on it! 

Why I am attracted to this individual exactly I am not so sure. I do love being around him and he is very good at making me laugh. He pays attention to me - probably more than he should - way more than he should actually. I will say that he is the antithesis of my last boyfriend, which I think is why I am so intrigued by this attraction to him. Save a couple of random items, he and Kelly are nothing alike. This is good, I know, but makes me wonder how this came to be exactly. 

Attraction is a funny thing and can often go as easily as it has come. Part of me wants this to do just that while the other half wants it to stick around. Our playful back-and-forth certainly makes my day-to-day more fun. But I can't help but think how poorly timed this attraction is right now. Aside from this guy, I've been flirting with the possibility of moving away after my job ends in June. This is mostly because in order to do this same job I'll have to move to another university; damn Idaho for not having more colleges within driving distance. Additionally, this fellow isn't single. Before you began worrying, realize I recognize this as the ultimate reason why I can't act on my attraction to him - or interact with him in an inappropriate way. I respect myself for one but his existing relationship too. I understand what it could mean for him, to have a girlfriend and still be showing interest in someone else. He's opened up to me about his relationship concerns but those are for him to figure out, not for me to influence. 

To make matters more complicated, this fellow works for me. Yes, I know..."It's not allowed." Blah, blah, blah.. Don't get me wrong. I respect this boundary, however I can't help but feel a little irritated that the one time I'm not the cat, I can't be the mouse. Frustrating! That said, I should just let the pieces fall as they may; everything happens for a reason, right?